I didn't mean to
by JinxyJess
Summary: Thorki. Loki may have lost Thor forever and he's not sure if he can live with it.
1. My brother

They stood together. Always together. They were brothers, that's how it should be. With a grin, Loki slapped Thor on the shoulder.

"Brother. He did not mean it. You know how he can be sometimes." Odin had recently returned from a trip and Thor had ruled in his absence and had failed, of course. Loki couldn't help but think how much better he'd have done. He could rule Asgard and he could do it well! If only Odin would give him the chance.

"Does he think it amusing? To slap at me as if I were some ignorant child? And in front of so many...I will not forgive him for this, Loki. He has gone too far."

"Thor, don't be ridiculous. Of course you will forgive him. He is our father."

"You think I don't know that?"

"I know you do. Just like I know you will forgive him." The God of mischief sighed quietly, stepping a little closer to the edge of the balcony. Such beauty. One could look over Asgard from here and never be bored. And still Loki managed it. Maybe because his fool of a father always overlooked him.

Of course, Thor had failed his little assignment from Odin. If someone had questioned him, a fight would surely follow. He'd made some very bad choices but Odin had returned and everything was running smoothly again. So why was he so irritated? He felt rather than saw Thor step up next to him.

"Loki? You have not been yourself these past few days. You do not speak and when you do, it is very...controlled. Brother? What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing, Thor. You look too deep." Loki turned and gave a bright smile that only Thor would recognise as fake. Hands gripped his arms, pulled him into the embrace of his brother, to which he would not respond. "Let go, Thor, you fool." But a genuine smile curved his thin lips.

"Loki, when you wish to talk, you know where I am. I shall leave you to your thoughts now." Their eyes met before the thunder God strode away. Carefully, he perched himself on the balcony. A light breeze swept his hair around his face and instead of brushing it back; he just let it fall across his face. He could see the bifrost from here and how the setting sun brought the colours to life. He would leave now. He should rest. Now, he pushed his hair back as he stepped down and headed to his room.

Naked and warm, the sheet tugged carelessly up to his torso, Loki stared at the ceiling and tried to sleep. Drifting between sleep and consciousness, he barely heard his door open.

A quiet whisper. "Loki?" Thor. The giant oaf didn't know when to give up. Maybe, if he pretended to be asleep, he would be left alone. He felt the mattress dip from the added weight but continued to feign sleep. "I know you are not sleeping, brother." A firm grip on his chin. Loki knew his brother was grinning from the tone his voice had taken. The hand was removed and placed on the other side of his waist.

"But I am obviously trying to sleep, Th-" Teeth on his neck, nibbling their way down to his collar. His breath caught as he pushed at the giant form that had leant over him. "Fool! You scared me."

"As I intended. You're awake. Are you not?" Smirking. Thor gave his brother an affectionate pat on the cheek. "I've been thinking brother. Those fire giants from Muspelheim? That have been bothering father? We should stop it!"

"Thor, you're being foolish again. He forbid you from going to Jotunheim that one time and he'll do the same again if he has to."

"But if we go now? Without him knowing! Think of the thrill, brother!"

"Oh the joy. It's the middle of the night, Thor. Go back to bed." He shifted over, turning his back on his brother. Those teeth found the back of his neck, nipped fiercely as Thor trailed his finger down Loki's spine, sending a delicate shiver through his body. "Thor! Go to bed, you moronic imbecile." Pouting, the blonde rose.

"Fine. I shall go alone."

Cursing under his breath, Loki rolled to face his brother with a scowl. "Fine. You've woken me, I supp-"

"You were never asleep..." Thor pointed out with a grin.

"Oh, shut up, Thor!" Loki growled as he crawled out of bed and began preparing for a fight with the fire giants.


	2. What have I done?

Ready, they snuck out. Of course, getting Thor to 'sneak' was almost impossible but, they managed to make it outside without being noticed.

"Why are we being so careful, Loki? It's not like it matters who sees us…"

"Thor, think for once, hm? If someone sees us, they will tell father. If Odin knows we are leaving he will question why and come after us, you oaf!" Rolling emerald eyes, Loki proceeded quietly.

Thor considered this quietly for a moment, lines forming on his furrowed brow "…Oh…"

Muspelheim was the realm of fire giants. Loki had never been and couldn't begin to imagine how terrible this trip would be. Muspelheim was known by some as the home of desolation and the fire giants were not on good terms with Odin. Having Odin's sons there would only anger them, Loki knew. But, he also knew there was no stopping Thor. And why bother? If things became too bad, he could step in and try talking them down. Loki was good with words.

It was so hot. Wave upon wave of heat pounded them causing sweat to dew and slip down their skin. They could see a river of molten lava, twisting and turning for miles. There was no life…None. Not a single tree or plant. They couldn't see any form of wildlife, either. Just the broken, cracked earth beneath their feet and the odd bump in the ground that would spit lava every so often.

"Well, this is inviting." Loki brushed his hair back, trying to see through the dark, sweat-matted locks.

"Your sarcasm is noted, Loki. You are ready, yes? Something tells me they will be as willing to fight as we are…"

"We may not have to fight, Thor."

"…And we may have to…"

"You have a point. Shall we continue?"

Thor grinned and shook his blonde hair back. With Mjolnir in his hand, his armour glinting in the firelight and sweat treading down his handsome face, Thor looked dangerous. His smile was not one of happiness, or kindness. It was cruel, calculating and cold and Loki returned it before they continued on.

They seemed to walk forever. The brothers had eventually found some wild animal. Not very long ago a black and red speckled lizard the size of Thor's torso and spat at them before scurrying towards a tumble of rocks. Eventually, they came towards what appeared to be a giant castle. Rocks jutted up in thick spikes in every direction and lava bubbled in small pools. Thor looked up, blue eyes dancing in the light.

"I think we have found our destination, brother."

"I think we have, Thor."

"Loki, this may be dangerous…You can always go back, if you wish."

"After I've walked all this way? You think me weak. I will show you differently." Loki replied with a grin and sly wink.

"Loki, we could die."

"I know it."

"Brother…I love you."

"And I, you, Thor." With what they considered could be their finals words, they pushed on. The castle was purely stone but they couldn't say it wasn't well lit. Balls of fire floated far above their heads as they strode through. They soon found the fire giants. All they had to do was follow the croak that was actually a laugh. It seemed all the ash of burnt remains was not helping the giants' voices, at all.

They has mottled orange skin and their pupils were surrounded only by red. They were hairless and their veins stood out from their skin. Dressed in loincloths of unknown materials and holding axes by their sides, the brothers hesitated. Thor strode forward.

"I am Thor. Son of Odin."

"We know who you are." Surtr rose. His skin was smooth and grey, and two horns rose from either side of his head, curled up slightly. His veins appeared orange as if his world had contaminated him to the point where the lava ran in his veins. His nose was flat and his lips curled, revealing two longer, pointed teeth amongst the others. "And I am Surtr. As you should know. Why have you come here, sons of Odin?"

"You have quarrel with our father." Loki stepped in front of Thor, attempting to prevent a fight.

"Is your brother too dim to speak for himself? You did not even utter your name. Do not speak to me."

"I apologise." Loki lowered himself into a slight bow, smile tight. "I am Loki, son of Odin."

Surtr waved a hand idly, "Leave this place, sons of Odin. Now."

Thor pushed Loki away, seething. "You will not turn us away so easily, Surtr. You will leave our father and our home alone. Or face our wrath."

The giant stepped down from his 'throne', eyes fiery "You come here, looking for a fight. You think you have any sway here, puny God? Your wrath? How bad could the wrath of two Gods be. Two Gods who cannot even act like a God. Your brother is filled with jealousy and you…You are filled with arrogance. Be careful it does not get you killed!" Surtr's fist slammed against the stone arm of his seat. He folded himself down, eyes closed. "I will not repeat myself again. Leave."

Watching Thor tremble with rage, Loki laid his hand against his brother's arm. "We should go." He whispered.

"No! You will face us. And we shall see what two puny Gods can do." His hammer was smashed into the nearest giants ribs before Surtr could even open his eyes. Cursing, Loki took the one to his right. The battle that followed was bloody and the giants fought dirty. Surtr's croak echoed of the walls as he watched his men pummel the Gods. Loki was sprawled on the ground with one giant staked on his sceptre while Thor battled two giants who fell on him from either side.

"I shall have mercy this once." Surtr gave a quiet growl, hardly audible, but had his 'men' backing off instantly. Thor fell to his knees next to Loki as their chests heaved. "I have no more quarrel with your father. You two have amused me. I have no reason to march against Asgard." Continuing to croak, the grey giant gave a gesture and had two giants scrambling towards Loki and Thor. Loki closed his eyes, prepared to die while Thor braced to fight them off. But they didn't attack. Instead, they were gently picked up and carried away. The giants spoke to each other in muffled whispers. It sounded as if they were just grunting at each other but Loki could hear how each grunt was specific. Definitely speaking to each other. They were dumped somewhere a few miles from Surtr's palace. One giant pointed south before they both turned and left, cackling as they did.

"They have just left us here…" Thor stared down at his bloody hands. He had a gash running from forehead to cheek and his amour was damaged. Through it a deep cut on his stomach could be seen. Loki couldn't discern if he had any other injuries and instead concentrated on his own.

He thought he may have a couple of broken ribs and his neck had taken a good swipe from claws, leaving him with three cuts trailing down to his shoulder. Even now, he could feel his blood slipping down his chest. He'd live. But there was another cut on his leg and he ached everywhere. "Yes, I can see that, Thor. Thank you."

"We must go back."

Loki managed to push himself to his feet, gripping his sceptre tightly. "And die? Brilliant idea. I don't know why I didn't think of it."

"Loki…Brother…For father!"

"You heard him yourself, Thor! He wants nothing more to do with Asgard. Going back may change that. Learn to take your victories, brother."

Thor was on his feet and in front of Loki before he could blink.

"I know when I have won, Loki. And I know when I have lost. I will not lose this battle."

"You already have, Thor! You've lost. Give up." The God of mischief began to walk away but Thor spun him around by the shoulder and smashed his fist into his brother's face.

"Do not order me around, Loki. I am to be king. Not you."

"You wish to fight me, brother?"

In reply, Thor's fist connected with Loki's ribs. With his breath hissing out, Loki bent to clutch at the pain. He lifted his head and green met blue. Thor had asked for it. Ducking under his brother, he kicked his legs out from under him and sent Thor crashing to the ground. But Thor simply flipped Loki over him and bounced back up. Their eyes locked and each saw murder in the others. The fought fiercely with fists flying and breath panting out. Material ripped and both groaned and occasionally screamed. The heat sent sweat rolling down their spines and blood flew, bringing the earth to life with its dotted patterns. Pinned, sceptre in hand and Thor advancing forward, Loki threw his hands up, still clutching his weapon.

He watched, the sun burning his face, as his sceptre pierced flesh. Thor's scream was a dull ache reverberating in his brain. The sceptre ripped through skin and metal, appearing bloody from Thor's back. His brother looked at him, tears swimming in his eyes as he felt his life draining. The blue light of the sceptre glowed through the crimson, making Loki sick even as he felt tear burning his own eyes. Blood trickled from Thor's lip as his breath tumbled out.

"…L-Loki…" Thor gasped, his beautiful eyes locked on Loki's.

Loki chocked, his brother's form frozen over his. "What have I done?"


	3. Hold me

_So, I haven't been feeling well these past few days which is why this chapter and the last I posted on my other story may not be so good. I appreciate the beautiful, beautiful reviews! Don't be afraid to let me know what you think. Here, have this to make up for Thor's injury!_

* * *

Thor was in the healing room. They would do what they could for him. Make…'it' as painless as possible for him. But they didn't know Thor like he did. Thor would live. He wouldn't die and that shimmery, pristine white room. He couldn't die. How would Loki go on? Thor was the only one who mattered. The only one who cared about him.

Loki sobbed brokenly against the tiles of the shower. The water beat at him and his tears mixed with it. Steam billowed around him. Thor had been in the healing room three days now.

How much longer was it going to take?

He remembered Odin's face when he dragged Thor in, crying. It was a shame he couldn't even find Odin looking like he'd walked into a brick wall amusing. Oh and how he'd screamed. Never had Loki seen his father so desperate. Thor had been rushed to the healing room by two burly men Loki couldn't remember ever seeing. Odin had stayed only momentarily to glare at Loki and tell him it was entirely his fault.

Heat rained down on him from every direction. His shower was a small, marble room with the shower head being the whole ceiling. Two lights glowed dimly in opposite corners of his sanctuary, hovering magically. The swirling steam and faint light were charming and soothed him slightly. Or maybe that was the hot water. He kept his face pressed against the wall and whimpered quietly. Loki was so caught up in thinking about Thor; he only noticed he wasn't alone when he felt the naked body press up against his back. He jumped and turned as quickly as possible to and found himself caught between the wall at his back and a very big, very naked Thor.

"T-Thor?" Loki simply stared at his brother, green eyes wide and colour rising onto his cheeks. "Why are you in my shower?"

"Brother! I thought you would want to know I am well. I have missed you these long three days you left me in the healing room." Thor stepped even closer, pressing their bodies together so Loki could barely breathe. Thor caught Loki's wrists and slammed them back against the wall, eyes vivid as they locked on his. "You should have come to see me, brother."

"Thor, you great oaf, let go." Loki struggled but was stopped short as Thor braced their legs against each other and had Loki's breath hissing out. "Thor, you bastard. Stop it." Loki couldn't move. Thor had him pinned and was grinning slyly as he bent to whisper in his brothers ear.

"I will make you regret not coming to see me, Loki." He murmured and nipped harshly at Loki's ear. Loki felt his hands rise over his head and Thor take both of his slender wrists into one of his bulky hands to free his other. Teeth on his neck, sliding down his chest. Fingers digging into his ass. His breath caught in his throat when he felt Thor's mouth slide down his stomach and clamp around him. His head fell back, eyes sliding shut as he groaned quietly. Thor slid up Loki's hardening length, sucking roughly and letting his tongue drive Loki to gasps and moans of his brothers name. His tongue slid through the tip as he glided back down to the tip, letting his teeth scrape lightly at the sensitive skin. Loki's eyes flew open and he slid his freed hands into Thor's golden hair, begging for more as those large hands massaged his hips.

"Th-Thor!" Loki pleaded as Thor slid his mouth repeatedly over Loki's cock. The water was pouring down his skin, the heat making his head spin as he tried not to buck his hips against Thor's warm, eager mouth. He felt Thor humming deep in his throat and Loki bit his lip as he moaned, the sound bouncing back to him from the walls. He could hear the water splashing against the floor, his hitched breath, Thor's humming. He couldn't stop himself. He couldn't contain himself. He released into Thor's mouth, felt his tongue slick over the tip before he swallowed, staring up with those amazing blue eyes. Water has beaded on his face and lashes and Loki's shadow darkened his face though he smiled brightly.

"Loki." Thor kissed at the pale hips between his hands, slid up that fragile body until he had to look down into Loki's eyes. Those splendid green eyes. Always so careful and guarded. When those eyes flicked up to Thor's and then quickly away, they undid him. He slid his muscled arms around Loki's slight build. "Let us go rest, Loki. You are tired."

Loki blinked in bewilderment. "What?"

"You have not slept. I can see it. You need to rest." Thor tugged Loki from the room, pulling towels from the banister just outside the door as he slid through a pair of doors and into Loki's bedroom. He hooked one towel around his own hips and turned to do the same for Loki. Loki slapped at Thor's hand and frowned.

"I'm perfectly capable."

Thor grinned sheepishly and gave his brother a friendly pat on his shapely butt. Loki scowled darkly, yanking the towel from his brother and placed the warm, grey towel around his own hips.

"That's more like the Loki I know and love." Chuckling, Thor pulled on a loose pair of pants. They had clothes in each others room. Neither knew why. Loki had never expected the need to arise, especially because of a situation like this.

"What was that, Thor?!"

"I told you I missed you, brother."

"Be that as it may…That was not what is considered a normal reaction."

"Did you not enjoy it?" Loki pulled on his own pants, glancing for a fraction of a second at his beautiful, muscled brother before he was nudged onto the bed.

"Shut up, Thor."

"I love you, Loki. You know this. I see only you." Thor whispered as he crawled into the bed and yanked Loki up with him. He pulled his brother's stiff back against him, tangling their legs together and draping his arm around Loki's side.

"Thor…"

"Do not tell me it's not right. I do not care."

"We'll talk about this in the morning." Loki grumbled, snuggling into the mattress and already beginning to drift into sleep.

Thor glanced at their discarded towels, ordered the lights off and pressed his face into Loki's shoulder. "I'm sure we will."


End file.
